I would like to thank Sean Lovelace for commenting on my last post and saying that I needed to stop doing readings and getting accepted because it was messing up my rejection blog. He was right and his comment motivated me to go check in at a few online submission managers. Surely there was a rejection I was ignorant of waiting for me out there.
Lo and behold, I needed not look far. The first submission I checked on, at Make, had indeed been rejected, and they hadn't bothered to let me know.
So, thank you, Sean Lovelace, for making me go out there and pursue the rejection like nobody's business. I got lazy for a minute.