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My Name is Not Jan

Peter Slapnicher

This was one of my favorite episodes.  I always thought wigs would make life better, too.  Wigs and fake glasses.  My name is Jac Jemc. It sounds like Jack Gems. Yes, Jac is short for Jaclyn.  Jac has always been my nickname.  Some people occasionally call me Jackie, but when I hear it, it sounds more like a baby-fication of my name, like  if your name was Slavoj and someone called you "Slavoj-y," while making kissy faces and pinching your cheeks. Sometimes this is enjoyable.  I have known a handful of people who have pulled it off with flair.  If you call me Jaclyn or Jackie, I will respond.  I am not picky. It is just most common to call me Jac or JacJemc like it is one word.  That is fun, too. I had a guitar teacher who called me "JacJemc, Woman of Action."  He was dorky and great.  He taught me to play all the dorky songs I wanted to learn in high school including, "Romeo and Juliet" by the Dire Straits and "Song 41" by the Dave Matthews Band and also "Blackbird" by the Beatles, which is not so dorky, but I was pretty proud when I mastered it.  I never practiced enough and he never gave me a hard time.  If you are reading this, Hi Mr. Maz!  I hope you are not offended I called you dorky.  Dorky is the best.

Despite having withdrawn the submission, Konundrum Engine sent my alter-ego, Jan, a rejection today.

My name is not Jan. Absolutement pas.