I was so excited to see that Spork is up and running again. They were one of the first magazines that I got really excited about a few years back when I started looking for these sorts of things.
That said, they do not want my story. Drew wrote a very nice little note though. It's rather unpredictable what responses will irk and what ones will delight me. This one fell on the side of delight.
The story I sent was sort of gothic/ 19th century/ verbose and Mr. Burke responded thus:
"You know, I struggled so hard through War of the Worlds, and The Time Machine, and all them other texts. I liked the stories and appreciated their place in literature and was grateful to them for the stepping stones they provided us, linguistically, doing those things so we could see how heavy handed and plodding and tiresome they were -- it can be charming to have a character who maybe relates a part of a story in that style, but to have an entire piece comprised wholly of it begets in me a fitfulness and black dismay that causes my normally steely resolve to crumble aft and rain piecemeal upon my divan.
You did a good job with the story. I'm just constitutionally indisposed, stylistically.
Thanks, but I'm saying no."
I love it. He took on the dopy language I used in the piece. This made me smile. 'Crumble aft...' ha.